Monthly Archives: October 2012

Congress Government Celebrates After Successfully Diverting Citizens From Coal Scam

On Tuesday, the Congress Government held grand scale celebrations at a Five Star hotel in New Delhi. The event was organized to celebrate the successful diversion of the citizens from the Coal Scam. It was a seemingly lavish affair with many senior Congress leaders pouring in. Many celebrities from Bollywood, Sports and Media fields were also spotted. The party started at late night and continued till early morning the next day.

Le Meridien, Delhi

The 5-star hotel where celebrations were held due to Austerity Drive

“Wow. It was amazing. There were several varieties of dishes for dinner, international liquor brands and even personal escorts. The attendance was huge.”, said a guest who does not wish to be named. He continued, “Digvijayji gave a singing and dance performance and Manmohanji did some stand up comedy. They also made fun of Pranabji’s Hindi speaking skills.” The party was held at one of the finest Five Star hotels in New Delhi which is big enough to accommodate upto 5000 guests.

Our Refreshing Times correspondent was standing near the entrance of the venue as wasted Congress politicians were walking out in the morning. “Bahut maza aaya. Bahut maza aaya…..” said a senior Congress leader as he walked out trying to control his stamina. On inquiring how liquor was served since Tuesday was Dry Day (being Gandhi Jayanti), he replied, “Dry Day ki maa ki *****.”

Manmohan Singh, Sonia Gandhi, Digvijay Singh and few other leaders walked out wrapping their arms around each other. “I challenged MMS (short for Manmohan Singh) to say ‘Money doesn’t grow on trees’ on live national television. And he did. He did. He won the bet.” said Sonia Gandhi as she burst into laughter. “Madamji gave idea of introducing FDI in retail and hiking prices of Diesel and LPG to divert the people away from the Coal Scam. So after seeing the success, Madamji decided its time to party.” said Manmohan Singh who looked little more sober than others. After this national embarrassment, a Congress spokesperson has said that a press conference will be held to ‘clarify’ what transpired at the event.

The Congress has had lots to celebrate after various events helped to divert the common man’s attention away from the Coal Scam. After introducing FDI in retail and hiking prices of Diesel and LPG, the recent T20 World Cup has also worked wonders. In a recent survey, it was concluded that the average Indian citizen is more sad and concerned that Indian Cricket Team didn’t make it to the semis than being concerned about the Coal Scam or Diesel/LPG price hike or inflation in general.