Tag Archives: paranoia

Doctor advises heart patient to stay away from Twitter

Delhi: Chummy Singh, 54, a heart patient has been advised by his trusted family physician to stay away from the micro-blogging site Twitter. Chummy, who is a supporter of a political party, has been fighting relentlessly against internet trolls in an effort to defend his party.

Chummy, who used to work in a marketing background and who is a big fan of Twitter fights, had recently left his job to do tweeting full-time. Unfortunately, sad news was on the way for Chummy. “I had just recently left my job to concentrate entirely on my daily twitter fights” Chummy said disappointingly “But now my doctor is telling me to rest”.

Chummy further explained his misery. “I only recently understood concept of hashtags. All this time I was tweeting without using any hashtags. Now that I have finally understood them, its too late” Chummy cried in despair.

“Chummy takes his Twitter fights too seriously. He exhibits symptoms of hypertension after a Twitter ‘fight-session’. Now, it seems he has even started showing symptoms of paranoia and delusion. Chummy thinks that the opposition party is dominated by ‘communal’ ‘fascist’ aliens from outer space who are using black magic and mind-control powers on him” Dr. Khujliwala explained to our reporter.

Somewhere in the corner of his mind, Chummy suspects that his physician, Dr. Khujliwala, himself could be one of those nasty internet trolls, who is now trolling him in real life. “I suspect Dr. Khujliwala is one of those internet trolls who is trolling me to get me retired from my daily Twitter fights” Chummy explained.

Remarkable, Chummy is not going down easy. Chummy considers himself a soldier for his political party. “I will die fighting (on twitter) but I will not give up” Chummy said, requesting us to leave as he had a psychiatrist appointment in the noon.

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