Tag Archives: rahul gandhi

Will send Adivasis, Dalits to Jupiter if Congress wins: Rahul Gandhi

Chhattisgarh: After the successful launch of the ISRO’s Mars Mission, another space mission is in the making. Congress leader Rahul Gandhi addressing an “impressive” rally here, has yet again set a high agenda for Indians which is ‘outta this world!’. This time, its not for Astronauts but for the Adivasis and Dalits of Chhattisgarh.

Experts believe Rahul Gandhi's near-correct pronunciation of the word 'Jupiter' is a strong indication that he is the best person to lead the country

Experts believe Rahul Gandhi’s near-correct pronunciation of the word ‘Jupiter’ is a strong indication that he is the best person to lead the country

Rahul Gandhi, while addressing the rally attended by nearly 700 people (7 being active listeners) touched many key issues such as the meaning of the word ‘state’ and criticized the BJP government run by Chief Minister Raman Singh of not doing enough for the Dalits and Adivasis.

“Dalits and Adivasis should learn to dream bigger. They need the escape velocity of Jupiter to be successful” Rahul ji said “I promise the Tribals, Adivasis and Dalits of Chhattisgarh, that if Congress is elected to power, we will send them all to Jupiter” triggering cheer as well as curiosity among the crowd as some wondered what Jupiter is.

“Jiju (Robert Vadra) will help in securing accommodation on Jupiter” continued Rahul Gandhi referring to country’s national son-in-law Robert Vadra who had once called India a ‘banana republic’. “Before, people from Chhattisgarh had to go to planets like Karnataka and Bangalore for jobs. Now we will make sure they find jobs on Jupiter too. Jiju (Vadra) has fixed some nice land deals on Jupiter” Rahul added optimistically, “we will also ensure Jupiter is free from communal forces “.

Congress leader Digvijaya Singh, as usual, seemed ecstatic about Rahul Gandhi’s grand ‘Jupiter Mission’. “Rahul baba is truly the best secular leader India has right now. Modi is communal. Modi is responsible for Jupiter’s high escape velocity” Diggy tweeted taking a dig at BJP’s Prime Ministerial candidate Narendra Modi who is also addressing rallies in the state.

Congress national spokesperson Sanjay Jha confirmed the plan. “The ‘Jupiter Mission’ is in initial stages. We have named the plan ‘Sonia Gandhi Jupiter Bhejo Yojana (SGJBY)’ after Sonia madam. It will have reservation for everyone including SCs, STs, Dalits, Adivasis and even for other minorities. We have put the estimated budget for implementation of ‘SGJBY’ at around Rs. 4000 Crores”, Jha said at a press meet, hinting a fresh new scam is in the dock.

Liberal intellectuals and neutral political observers have hailed the grand ‘Jupiter Mission’. “Congress party’s inclusiveness of including Dalits, Adivasis and SCs and STs in ‘Jupiter Mission’ truly demonstrate the party’s commitment to secularism” one neutral intellectual pointed out, adding “Modi only cares about industrialists”.

Meanwhile, a NASA scientist reportedly contradicted Congress party’s ambitious ‘Jupiter Mission’ by saying that Jupiter has no solid surface, since it is a Gas Giant (mostly made of gases). Reacting sharply, Congress leader Kapil Sibal lambasted the scientist and accused NASA of being communal. “We never expected NASA to join hands with communal forces. It is a respected agency and it should not interfere in India’s domestic politics” Sibal mouthed.

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‘Your voice has been heard’ says the blind and deaf Sonia Gandhi: A story of hope

Sonia Gandhi

Sonia Gandhi struggling to smile

India’s most honest, sincere, trustworthy and clean-chit politician and national leader Sonia Gandhi has finally heard the voice of the anti-rape protesters. For two full weeks following the horrific incident of the Delhi assault on 16th December, many Indians have been, and continue to, protest in the capital and all over India. Their demands, pass a stricter and stronger law and constitute fast-track Courts for such cases involving crimes against women.

At one time, one could have only hoped that this message of the protesters somehow reached Sonia Gandhi, who, incidentally happens to be blind and deaf. “Once we manage to get the message of the Delhi protesters to Sonia Madam, maybe we can hope that things will change”, remarked a political commentator a little over a week ago. The cause for concern is how can the message of the protesters reach Sonia Madam who can’t see nor hear?

One may be familiar with the situation of ‘Michelle McNally’, the blind and deaf character portrayed by one of India’s leading actresses Rani Mukerji in the film ‘Black’ directed by Sanjay Leela Bhansali. Michelle lived completely in isolation in her own black world surrounded by darkness due to her inability to see or hear or express herself. These same circumstances somehow precisely describe the present situation of Sonia Gandhi.

With the nation in such massive turmoil, and no one coming ahead to take charge and give some reassurance to the people, all hope seemed lost. The one dependable leader, Sonia Madam, was sitting away in isolation, not knowing anything about this great turmoil. Her Congress party workers couldn’t find anyone to communicate this message to Madam ji, someone like the miracle worker portrayed by Amitabh Bachchan’s character ‘Debraj Sahai’ who was able to communicate with Rani’s character and taught her to express herself.

“We don’t have any miracle worker here in India who can communicate the message to Sonia Madam”, was the statement made by a concerned Congress spokesperson few days back. And without their esteemed leader’s opinion or decision, Congress is like a “stagnant puddle of water, completely useless and a piece of shit…”, as famously said by one of Congress’s leaders himself. So without their leader’s decision, Congress as well as central government remained brain-dead.

But hope was on the way. Just two days ago, an unknown person only identified as ‘Mr. X’, who miraculously was proficient in sign language approached the concerned Congress party leaders. He was immediately taken to Sonia’s place and spent hours and hours trying to explain the state of the nation by spelling words in her hand, just like how Bachchan’s character tried to teach Rani’s character in Black. Sonia, however isolated she may be, slowly picked it up. The first thing that came in her mind was to address her subjects that their queen has heard their voices.

After almost 2 grilling weeks, it took a great deal of protests across Delhi and all over India, and the aid of a miracle worker ‘Mr. X’ to get this message to Sonia Madam. And so it was established, Pranab Mukherjee may be the President, Manmohan Singh may be the Prime Minister, but it is none other than Sonia Gandhi, the queen president of UPA, who is the true leader of this country. Without her, even the PM and President are just mere humans. Their posts in the Government don’t count for shit, Sonia Madam is the real boss. But still, kind of ironic, because India is called the world’s biggest democracy (as opposed to monarchy).

The first thing Sonia Madam did was to come out of her cave and greet her protesters. “Your voices have been heard”, she said in a breaking struggling voice which was met with cheers from 90% Indians. Now finally that our blind and deaf leader has ‘heard’ our voices, we can expect some action from the government.

40 is the new 10: Rahul Gandhi gets candid

As the Gujarat elections come to a close, Refreshing Times chats up with the Congress General Secretary, and the young dynamic leader of this era, Rahul Gandhi, about recent polls, new generation Indians, politics and more. The 42 year old ‘young’ brand new leader of Congress Master Rahul Gandhi, lovingly known as Rahul baba, has campaigned all across Gujarat in the recent polls along with his mummy, Sonia Gandhi.

Both of them, part of royal family of India, the Nehru-Gandhi family, which has been reigning over New Delhi, ever since Independence spanning 65 years, hope to regain some shelter in the state.

Rahul Gandhi explaining his ideas

Rahul Gandhi explaining his ideas

With the voting being in its final phase, the Congress leader is more confident of a win in the State as Gujarat sees a record voter turnout. The turnout in the 2012 polls, which is about 71.3%, is the highest-ever registered in the state.

“I think that if more people vote, we will get more votes,” said a confident Rahul Gandhi trying to explain possible victory of Congress. Incidentally, exit polls broadcasted by many news channels mostly indicated that BJP would seal the victory.

“What is exit polls? I don’t know what it is that you are saying,” clarified Rahul Gandhi as he tried to brush away the topic.

Rahul Gandhi believes in encouraging new talent in politics: “We have so many old people in politics. Its time we introduce the young generation in this field. I myself at this very young age lead the Indian Youth Congress (a wing of Congress) to bring together young people from all regions.”

However, records reveal that members of the Indian Youth Congress mostly include middle-aged rickshaw-wallas, taxi drivers, hawkers, thieves, and such uneducated bums. “But are they not young?” retorts Rahul Gandhi in defiance.

Ram Jethmalani, a prominent senior lawyer and BJP leader, had earlier said that Rahul Gandhi is illiterate. “I’m not offended by these things. I believe that I am young, unlike Mr. Jethmalani who is very old. I also have started going to KG classes. It is never too late to get yourself educated. My teacher also praises me and tells me I’m very smart. I’m a fast learner, and memorize my speeches very fast. Mummy (Sonia Gandhi) showed me a world map and now I can point out where India is,” says Mr. Gandhi with a smile on his face.

“You should always keep the child inside you alive and pamper it even when you turn 40 plus,” he says.

Will Rahul Gandhi’s determination and enthusiasm encourage more young 40 plus citizens to take part in politics? “Yes. I do believe so. It is better to start at a young age, and politics is a very emerging field. You see, 40 is the new 10 now,” he concludes.