Tag Archives: secularism

Modi responsible for low rainfall this year: Congress

New Delhi: The country has seen some of the lowest rainfalls this year and, according to Congress, its all because of Modi. “Because of Modi’s 2002 riots, the rain Gods are not happy, so they are punishing people for electing Modi by giving us less rainfall this year” a Congress spokesperson pointed out.

The voice of the Congress party finds resonance with mainstream intellectuals and liberals. While intellectual liberals are the ones who usually detest and denounce ‘regressive’ and ‘primitive’ thinking such as black magic, superstition, etc. they have made an exception with PM Narendra Modi. “We condemn Modi for the 2002 riots. Modi’s actions have resulted in low rainfall this year” a secular liberal enlightened our reporter.

Sonia Gandhi has written a letter to Narendra Modi blaming him for low rainfall this year and demanding him to resign and seek forgiveness from the rain Gods. “Sonia madam’s letter to Modi has yet not received a reply. Is this how Modi wants to bring ‘Ache din’ for the nation?” Congress leader Sanjay Jha tweeted taking a dig at Modi’s election slogan ‘Ache Din Aane Wale Hai’.

Intellectual liberals sponsored caught hold of some Hindu priests in Varanasi who came out in mass agitation against PM Modi. “We will not rest until Modi resigns and performs Puja asking for forgiveness from the rain Gods” one priest spoke to media persons on Thursday. “This proves that secular priests are against Modi” an intellectual liberal said, who accompanied the priest at the agitation.

BJP reacted strongly with spokesperson Prakash Javadekar saying “Howcome rain Gods don’t have a problem with the 1984 riots? They only have problem with 2002 riots but not the other scores of riots which took place across the country in last one century” which evoked little interest from intellectuals and secular liberals who insisted that the rain Gods don’t have any problem with secular riots, but only the communal riots of 2002.

“In India, we value the priceless virtues of secularism above everything else. That is why we have thousands of NGOs for relief of Gujarat riot victims who are minorities and practically nothing for the communal Kashmiri Hindus who have been displaced because they are communal” an intellectual liberal working with an NGO explained.

Meanwhile, foreign funds are pouring in to float an NGO that will provide relief and rehabilitation to those persons who are victims of drought caused by the low rainfall attributable to Modi. The promoters of the NGOs are in the course of filing a petition against Modi to expose his communal intentions behind the low rainfall being seen this year.

Advertisements

Mosquito bites woman belonging to minority community; sparks national debate

New Delhi: In a shocking development, a mosquito has allegedly bit a woman belonging to minority community. The incident took place in Delhi’s busy NCR region when the woman was returning home from work.

The victim, a resident of Delhi, expressed her pain and anguish over the incident. “The mosquito bit me when I was getting out from the metro at Chandni Chowk. It was just a bite. I scratched it a few times. I’m fine now” she said while narrating the shocking incident to a local journalist.

The incident quickly sparked a local controversy. Thought the mosquito’s background and intentions are not yet known, self-proclaimed internet liberals have uncovered the shocking truth.

Its a clear case of communalism and fascism. The mosquito is intolerant of minorities” tweeted a secular internet liberal, which was re-tweeted by other secular internet liberals, leading to massive outrage on Twitter.

The assailant who committed the heinous fascist crime seemed clueless when reporters approached it

The assailant who committed the heinous fascist crime seemed clueless when reporters approached it

Following massive public outrage, the communal fascist mosquito has been caught and remanded in a plastic box at a local police station in Delhi. Secular internet liberals have hailed the swift action on the part of the Delhi police in arresting the mosquito.

Congress leader Digvijaya Singh smells RSS/ BJP’s hand in the incident. “Narendra Modi was giving his speech in Odisha and the mosquito bit the woman. Is there a connect? Wait for investigation..” tweeted Diggy.

Diggy spoke exclusively to our reporter regarding the incident. “Delhi has secular mosquitoes. They first suck the blood of the majority community, and only then do they target the minority community. But that never happens, because the secular mosquitoes get enough blood from the majority community, so they never have to target the minorities. This communal mosquito must have come from a BJP-ruled state” Diggy claimed.

Diggy also tweeted a warning to Nitish Kumar and non-BJP ruled states from the onslaught of communal mosquitoes, saying “Be careful Nitish Kumar and non-BJP ruled states. Communal fascist mosquitoes are coming..

Just like Diggy, secular internet liberals are connecting the incident with Narendra Modi’s Odisha visit. Here are some examples of efforts of secular tweeters to expose Modi:

“Narendra Modi visited Odisha and the next thing you know is a #mosquito bites a woman belonging to minority community in #Delhi.”

“Narendra Modi is a fascist dictator, he even inspires communalism in mosquitoes. #Feku exposed.”

The incident has sparked national debates all across India. Many top news channels will be scheduling a live debate at the prime-time slot. It will have several secular intellectuals on the panel to collectively decide the fate of the mosquito.

“Did the mosquito intentionally bite the woman just because she belonged to minority community. The nation wants to know. The Newshour Debate Tonight” Arnab of ‘Times Now’ tweeted.

“On Buck Stops Here: Mosquito bites a minority woman. Is it a Modi conspiracy?” Barkha of NDTV tweeted.

Some Congress leaders are mulling the idea of sending the matter to NIA for investigation. “We are considering it” Congress leader Ajay Maken revealed.

A honest sincere citizen, who had like, absolutely no “affiliation” to any political party, launched a satirical website using JavaScript to mock the mosquito. It showed the image of Narendra Modi with a mosquito in his hand, with description which read as “To know how I communalize India using mosquitoes, click the link below.

However, after facing “backlash”, the content was removed.  The site read as follows, “I quit. I thought you could make decent satire on anybody. But, clearly, apparently, I was wrong. Mosquitoes were biting me all night, so I had to shut the site down.” The incident was taken note by the media and appeared in almost all major news channels and websites exposing Modi’s mosquito scam.

Secularists hail the successful transition of Bihar into a ‘secular’ state

Barely just a few months after Nitish Kumar’s valiant break away from the NDA coalition and move towards the ‘secular’ UPA coalition, critics and observers have concluded that Bihar has successfully transitioned into a secular state.

“The first holy sign came during the episode of the mid-day meal deaths. Here, instead of taking strong action and showing solidarity with the victims, the Nitish Kumar government pointed fingers at Narendra Modi and the BJP, personifying the great values of secularism” Mr. Doggy, a very sophisticated politician and liberal, explained.

“After the mid-day meal deaths, Nitish Kumar government was brave enough to bring Modi and BJP in the picture. Even in such a tough scenario, they showed the strength and the stamina to be secular and politically-correct.  I see no greater secular achievement than this” remarked a former critic of the Bihar Chief Minister, who is now become his admirer.

The second holy sign was not far away. After the death of Indian soldiers in the LOC firings by Pakistan, a JD(U) leader showed great secular virtues by belittling the sacrifices of the Indian soldiers. “They join the army only to die” the secular leader said.

“One of the foremost virtues of Congress-branded secularism is anti-Nationalism” a pro-Congress secular liberal explained “anti-Nationalism is the highest attainment of secularism. Hence now we can say with ample certainty that Bihar has successfully transitioned into a secular state”.

The only sacrifice the so-called ‘aam admi’ has to give is to trash the good governance, political accountability, economic stability, development, etc. which the NDA government was providing when in power. Now the people of Bihar can enjoy the Congress-branded ‘secularism’ under the Nitish Kumar government.

Notice to Chinese manufacturer over communal color of cap

New Delhi: Following the interest shown by Chinese manufacturers to tap the secular goods market in India, the Center today has sent a notice to one ‘Mr. To Pi’, brand-owner of ‘SKAPS’, over an alleged report that he also plans to manufacture saffron color skullcaps.

Mr. To Pi expressed great shock at seeing how secular Indians can get

Mr. To Pi expressed great shock on seeing how secular Indians can get

“We will not tolerate this communalism. Manufacturing saffron-colored skullcaps is clearly communal and these Chinese manufacturers are trying to lean towards communal forces” said Congress leader Ajay Maken, without naming anyone in particular.

This comes after a public interview in which ‘Mr. To Pi’ is reported to have said that he plans to manufacture skullcaps in many colors including white, green, saffron, red, pink, blue, etc.

“We don’t have a problem with other colors, but saffron is a communal color” continued Congress leader Ajay Maken, as he tried to bring out the hidden communal urges in the Chinese manufacturer ‘Mr. To Pi’.

The Chief Minister of Bihar, Nitish Kumar, too sang a similar ‘secular’ tune. “White and Green are secular. Other colors are acceptable. But saffron is communal. Saffron is unacceptable to secular people in Bihar” Nitish reacted shortly after Ajay Maken’s remarks.

‘Mr. To Pi’ said that he will look into the matter, “In the interest of appeasing complying with the secular forces, we will scrutinize this matter.”

Another Congress leader Digvijaya Singh took things to the extreme. “This Chinese manufacturer should be banned for his questionable secular credentials” Diggy tweeted.

To demonstrate Congress party’s commitment to secularism, Diggy followed up his previous tweet with another tweet with some inspirational lines:

Diggy_tweets